


Pride goeth before the fall. Chaos goeth after

by Teethteethteethteethteethteethteeth



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo 2020 (Part One!) [17]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Broken Bones, Dialogue-Only, Gen, I don’t explicitly define which character is Vaya and which is Vamos in dialogue, Vamos and Vaya don’t take stuff very seriously, Vaya is more standoffish and Vamos is more apologetic, Vomiting, Whump, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25943731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teethteethteethteethteethteethteeth/pseuds/Teethteethteethteethteethteethteeth
Summary: Val Velocity wipes the fuck out on a motorbike
Relationships: Vaya & Vamos & Val Velocity (Fabulous Killjoys)
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo 2020 (Part One!) [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767937
Comments: 10
Kudos: 13





	Pride goeth before the fall. Chaos goeth after

"Holy shit."

"What is it?"

"Val wiped the _fuck_ out on one of the bikes."

"Tryna do a trick?"

"A wheelie."

"Damn. Wish I hadn't missed it."

"It was hilarious. Really a tragedy you didn't see."

"How long's he been down?"

"Don't know."

"I'm gonna go check on him." 

"You think he needs it? He'll be fine."

"I'm gonna go check on him. You don't have to."

"Nah, I'll come with."

"Holy shit."

"What is it?"

"Dude, that looks really fucking bad."

"Oh fuck. It's like, bent backwards."

"Don't just stand there! We gotta help!"

"How?"

"Fuck if I know! I'm gonna try and wake him up? Hey, Velocity!"

"Ooh, I think he opened his eyes!"

"What-- _Shit_."

"Yeah, you fucking busted your leg. Like, _bad_."

"Oh..."

"Hey, tell him not to look at it! Don't look!"

"..."

"..."

"They did tell you not to look."

" _Gross_."

"You're telling me gross? I've got vomit on my best damn pants!"

"Sorry?"

"You should be."

"Help."

"Oh, shit, he's scared."

" _Really_? It's not terribly scary, seeing your own fucking bones poking outta your skin."

"Shut up. We gotta do something, what should we do?"

"First aid?"

"I know _that_. I mean, like, do we set it ourselves or go get someone, or what? Do we have to cut it off?"

"Cut it..."

"Oh look, he's passed out again." 

" _Fuck_!"

"You're the one who freaked him out, talking about cutting his leg off."

"Is that what we're supposed to do? I don't know what to do!"

"Well, we shouldn't move him unless we have to, but we're also the least qualified people _ever_ for anything like this."

"No fucking duh! And stop acting like you know more than me if you don't actually!"

"So it'd be okay for me to act like I know more than you if I actually knew more than you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"So you're admitting I'm the smart one!"

"No! That's nowhere near what I said!"

"Is too!"

"No fucking way! You're impossible, sometimes!"

"Yeah? Well so are you!"

"You didn't even _care_ when our friend got hurt!"

"Shut up! You woke him up again!"

"Well do we want him to stay awake or passed out?"

"Fuck if I know! Awake hurts more for him, I think."

"But what about going into shock?"

"What does that even mean?"

"Something to do with blood, I think."

"He _is_ bleeding."

"Of course he's bleeding, are you even seeing this?"

"We should get Volume."

"He's out with Vinyl, remember?"

"He's always out with Vinyl! What are they, dating or some shit?"

"Ooh, what if they are?"

"No way would they be dating. I was being dramatic."

"No, think about it."

"Oh. Witch, what if they _are_ dating? That's so gross!"

"Why?"

"Because _romance_. Ewww."

"I mean, if anyone had to, aren't you glad it's them?"

"No way! We're gonna have to live with them and see them being all pastel all the fucking time. Phoenix Witch, what if they hold hands and stuff?"

"That would be a little gross."

"It'd be straight-up disgusting! Fuck!"

"Stop flailing. You're hurting Val."

"Shit, Val! I completely forgot."

"Ha. Fool."

"You forgot, too! Now shut up and help me decide what to do."

"Okay. Fuck, uhh, why don't I go back to the Nest for medical supplies and shit?"

"And leave me here with him? What if he dies?"

"You don't die from a broken bone, that's silly."

"You can too die from a broken bone! Remember how come Canned Laughter broke his neck and died a couple years back?"

"No. And a neck isn't a bone, anyways."

"It's a lotta bones!"

"Well, Val's one bone is a lotta bones, now, maybe you're right."

"Ha!"

"It's not a good thing you're right, what if he dies?"

"That's what I said!"

"Shit! Do you, uh, have a radio on you?"

"Why would I have a radio? Val has the radio."

"Well ask him for the radio."

"He's passed out in my lap."

"Oh. Right."

"What are you _doing_?"

"Looking for the radio, of course."

"Well look gentler!"

"Okay!"

"Good!"

"Got it! Now, who do we call?"

"Fuck. Um."

"What about a radio station? They're bound to know someone who can help."

"Do that.”

"Okay, I've got Death-Defying's frequency, is that good?"

"Val literally shot him, you think he'll help?"

"I can't pick up any others!"

"Do it, then!"

"I will!"

"You're not doing it. Time's slipping down the fucking drain!"

"Jeez, sorry! I'm doing it now!"

"Show Pony speaking, you've got 109 FM's private frequency, how may I be of assistance?"

"Who the fuck is Show Pony?"

"Who the fuck is you?"

"Hey!"

"I repeat, how may I be of assistance?"

"Give the radio to Doctor Death-Defying! Shit, you didn't kill him, did you? If you killed D--"

"Sorry about that, _please_ ignore them. We need, uh, some medical assistance over by the Nest?"

"Alrighty, hang tighty, and we'll send a runner over in a few minutes, how's that sound?"

"Good?"

"Keep running, see ya shortly!"

"What the fuck was that about?"

"'Alrighty, hang tighty'? Hell if I know. You can't just accuse strangers of murder, though."

"Why not? It made sense to me. In the moment."

"Shit, what if the runner thinks we killed Val?"

"It won't be a problem if Val's not dead!"

"What if Val's dead?"

"I don't know! You're the one next to him, check his pulse or his breath or some shit!"

"Fuck, okay."

"Well?"

"He's breathing." 

"Why the hell didn't you say so earlier?"

"Bec-- the runner's here."

"Good afternoodle, I'm Show Pony, we spoke on the ra-- Oh, DESTROYA, that does look bad."

" _Really_?"

"It's not gonna be a good afternoodle if he fucking dies."

"Really. Luckily for you, I'm a medic extroardinare!"

"Really."

"Oh, not you, too. Have a little faith in me!"

"Nah."

"You gotta prove it first. What do we do?"

"That's fair. We're gonna set his leg, okay?"

"We?"

"We. You, standing up, go grab those wood boards over there-- the thin ones. And you, start ripping this up into strips."

"Shit, okay."

"Great, now set the boards down beside me, got the cloth, stay by his head? Make sure he doesn't freak out if he wakes up mid-way through."

"How do we do that?"

"Talk to him, pin him down if you have to, whatever it takes. I'm gonna start on three."

"Oh, shit, wow."

"Pin him down?"

"Yeppers. One... Two.. Three!" 

"Ooh yikes."

"That looks painful."

"Oh, shit, he's waking up! We gotta talk to him!"

"Or pin him down!"

"That comes second, remember? Hey, Val."

"Th' fuck's happenin'?"

"You fucking crashed, and now some person in rollerblades is putting your bones back together."

"Rollerskates, not rollerblades, dearie."

"Hurts."

"Looks like it hurts, too! We saw all your bones and shit, it was wack."

"Shut up, he's gonna puke on me again!"

"Sorry! It's true!"

"You didn't have to say it."

"Hey, this bit's gonna hurt like hell, just a warnin'!"

"...Fuck."

"Hey, hold his hand, he's reaching for your hand."

"Oh shit, hey Val, it's gonna be okay."

"Sorry."

"Not your fault. I mean. Actually it kind of is? Wait, shit, that's another thing I shouldn't say that's true. You don't have to be sorry even though it's your fault? Yeah, that checks out. Like that time me and Vinyl got _awful_ food poisoning."

"Oh, DESTROYA, you're bad at comforting people."

"At least I'm trying!"

"Doin' good. Thank y'."

"Alrighty, we've got this all set and ready, you wanna bring him inside? I can send a real doctor by soon to check him out better than some emergency treatment, hm?"

"Yeah, you wanna go in, Val?"

"Please."

"Then we'll go in."

"How should we lift him? No offense, but you're wearing rollerbl-ah-skates. Rollerskates, and that doesn't sound super safe."

"So do the two of you want to do it, and I'll get the door for you and all that jazz?"

"Tha--"

"We'll do it."

"Fine."

"I'll get his head, you get his legs?"

"How come you get his head? That's easier, what if I drop him and he gets hurt?"

"He's already hurt. And besides, the top of him's covered in vomit and so am I, already. I figured you'd wanna avoid that?"

"I _hate_ when you're right."

"Must be a good thing I'm rarely right then, hm?"

"Hey! Don't say that kinda stuff about yourself!"

"Whatever. Let's lift on three, hm?"

"Fine, but don't think I'm gonna forget about this."

"Not a big deal. One, two, lift!"

"You didn't say three!"

"How do the two of you _ever_ get stuff done?"

"Oh, shut up and grab the door."

"Please."

"You got him now?"

"Yeah. You?"

"I do. We can put him on the couch? Or take him upstairs?"

"Couch is good for now, I think. Stairs are way too narrow anyways."

"Good point."

"You're welcome."

"Okay, lower him down, now?"

"Yeah-- hey, Sparkle Horse, get that pillow under his head?"

"Ooh, Sparkle Horse, I like that."

"It's not your name?"

"Show Pony."

"Shit, sorry."

"You're apologizing of your own volition? Who _are_ you?"

"What the _fuck_ does volition mean? No, don't tell me."

"I'm gonna head out now, okay? Keep running, you three."

"Keep running."

"Thank you. Keep running."

"Hey! Are you trying to one-up me?"

"What? No!"

"You were!"

"Was not!"

"Y're loud."

"Shit, sorry, Val!"

"That's still being loud!"

"Well so are you!"

"What do you need, Val?"

"F'r you t' be quiet. Water?"

"On it!"

"Shh!"

"Sorry."

"Can I help you take your jacket off or something? It's, uh."

"Dirty. I c'n do it."

"Okay."

"..."

"I can help, it's okay."

"Fine."

"Got the water!"

"Shhhh!"

"'S okay. 'M awake now, anyways. Thank you."

"Of course."

"Thank you."

"We're crew, Val, you know? We'd do anything for ya."

"Not anything."

"We'd do almost anything for ya."

"Yeah!"

**Author's Note:**

> This was so fun to write, balancing angst and humor :D  
> Leave a comment below, and find me on tumblr @wishiwasthemoon-tonight!


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